


And so we fall (So that we can rise again)

by Hazellum



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Also man I really did a number on Dib didnt I, Boy howdy I messed these boys up, Broken PAK (Invader Zim), Child Abuse, Child Abuse Warning, Child Neglect, Fluff and Angst, He babpy, Im sorry sir this is my emotional support background character, Irken Empire (Invader Zim), Keef POV, Keef's Homelife is Shit, Keef's parents need to get Murdered, M/M, Need hugs, One does not simply give Keef a good homelife, PAK headcanons, Poor bb, Starts off really angsty, The Irken Empire is evil, Yay for our carrot top boy, Zim and Dib are Very codependent, Zim does what he wants, Zim has one coping mechanism and its Denial, Zim is Smol Bean, also TW for Alcoholism and Marijuana Overuse, and yes this IS a good dadbrane fic, by the end it might as well be cotton candy, jsdlfjk;dlfkjasdf;lkjasdf;kj, needs hug, poor Zim, thank you for noticing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:06:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27355459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazellum/pseuds/Hazellum
Summary: Dib falls of a building while chasing Zim. Zim wont let himself lose Dib. The bug makes a decision, and they both have to deal with the aftermath.Two months later, and Keef is getting worried. Dib and Zim have been missing, and theres been no trace of where theyve gone. He'll have to go looking himself.
Relationships: CompuBrane, Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Professor Membrane & Zim's Computer
Comments: 18
Kudos: 66





	1. The Fall in Autumn

Running over rooftops, Zim laughed aloud. Today was going amazing! School had passed quickly. And now, here he and Dib were, engaged in another of their usual chases. It would likely culminate in a tense fight for the “fate of the planet”, and then… well, maybe they could get ice cream after. There was a new parlor opening near his house, and Zim had been dying to have an excuse to try it out.

As he ducked under protruding ventilation shafts and leapt over the gaps between high-rise buildings, Zim considered what flavor of ice cream he wanted. Blue raspberry was always nice, it reminded him of the slurpees back on the Massive. Of course, there was always chocolate, and rocky road. Any of them would be tasty. Plus, he couldn't forget that the parlor might have custom specialty flavors.

Looking back to see how Dib was faring, he saw the human doggedly chasing him over the rooftops, the wind rushing through his hair. He was looking like he was starting to tire, so Zim would have to end the chase soon. Otherwise, the fight would be no fun at all, and Dib would be too tired for ice cream after! And what’s the point of having a nemesis if you can't fight or get ice cream?

Putting on one last burst of speed, Zim jumped across a particularly wide gap, barely making it across. He skidded to a stop near the other end of this particular roof, and braced himself for the coming fight.

He didn’t hear the sound of Dib’s footsteps landing on the roof behind him.   
  


There was a scream.

There was a thud. Lower, near… near ground level.

  
  
  


Zim swore he could feel his spooch drop. It felt like there was a block of ice at his core. Running over, he stopped at the edge. For a second, he couldn’t bring himself to move. Slowly, shaking, he looked over the edge. What he saw on the ground far below made him feel sick. It was Dib, twisted and broken, crimson pooling around him. Activating his PAK legs, Zim scrambled down the wall, for once caring not who saw him. When he reached the ground, Zim realized that Dib was still breathing… Barely, but while there was breath in Dib’s lungs there was hope.

Zim knew he had to get Dib back to his base, ASAP. Hopefully… Hopefully, the healing pods there would work for humans. No, not hopefully. They would! They had to! Because if they didn’t… But no, they would. They would! Scooping Dib up into his arms, careful not to jostle him, Zim started running. The streets wouldn’t be fast enough, he needed a shortcut. Already, he could feel his skin sizzling where Dib’s lifeblood seeped from him. 

Sprinting across the street, down an alley, and over a fence, Zim started running through the woods. It was… Why had they gone so far today? Why hadn’t they stayed closer to their houses? Even at top speed, it could take Zim nearly an hour to get through these woods. By that time-

No. No, he couldn’t think like that. He’d make it, he’d make it, he had to. For Dib’s sake, and for his own. If he lost Dib… Zim would rather fight a hundred Yar’gaxes than lose his nemesis.

Nobody ever survived fighting even one yar’gax.

And so Zim ran harder. Faster. And yet. He could still feel Dib slipping away in his arms. Even as Zim held Dib tighter, he could feel that he was losing him. Dibs breathing slowed even more. It was a whisper, a rattle in his broken chest. Zim could barely feel Dib’s heartbeat.

No. No. NO! This couldn’t be happening! Zim couldn’t lose Dib. He couldn’t! He couldn’t. But there was no way they’d make it to the base in time. Of course, he could always… But that was drastic, and who knows if it would work? If Zim would be able to… Drastic times call for drastic measures, though, don’t they? But if he messed it up… Which he wouldn’t! Nothing can stop the amazing Zim, certainly not something as pathetic as logic! Then it was decided!

He’d have to work fast. The procedure was designed to be able to complete within ten minutes, but the extra modifications Zim would have to do… Well! He liked a challenge, after all!

While he worked, Zim kept looking over at Dib, who was propped against a tree. He was struggling to breath, and looked unconscious. At least if he wasn’t conscious, he probably wasn’t in pain. Probably.

“Don’t worry, Dib-Stink. It won't hurt anymore soon,” Zim said, surprised when his voice was rough, and he realized his throat was aching, and his face was wet. He’d been crying. 

He’d be crying a lot more if this didn’t work.

But of course it would! It had to! It had to. 

The cold breeze in the air snapped Zim out of his thoughts, and he started typing again. After only a couple minutes, he stowed away the keyboard, back into his Pak.

“Time for the time-sensitive part,” he said, pulling off his Pak, and pulling out a few tools. Delicately, Zim removed a section of the outer casing, and pulled at a few wires. He disconnected a few, only to reconnect them elsewhere. Some wires were soldered together, others pulled apart. It was a rush job, but Zim was doing the best with what time he had. Looking at it, Dib frowned. It wasn’t pretty, but it would work. Hopefully. Putting the covering back as it was, Zim tried to steady his shaking hands. After all, there was no reason to be afraid! This would work. It had to.

Zim knew he needed to reset his lifeclock, and since all that was left was the final step, this would be his only time to do it. With his Pak on, Zim walked to sit beside Dib.

“I guess you won't be chasing me around anymore, huh?” Zim said, leaning his head against the tree. 

Of course, he got no response.

“And… I’m sorry Dib. I know I’m being selfish, I know I am, but… I can’t lose you,”

Wind whistled through the trees.

“I’d say maybe someday we’ll look back on this and laugh,”

Somewhere in the distance, a whippoorwill sang its mournful birdsong.

“But I doubt it.”

Zim breathed in and out slowly. Now it was time to see if all this was for naught, or if his plan would work. Taking it back off, Zim ignored the minor electrocution. After all, it didn’t matter. It was fine, it was functional, it would work. It had to. Zim was out of time, he didn’t have any other options. 

With his Pak off again, Zim completed the next to last step. Wires extended from his Pak, from where it should connect to his back. He carefully placed them against Dib’s skull. Dib didn’t even react. He was too far gone, barely alive.

“I hope you can forgive me for this, Dib-Stink,” Zim whispered, as fresh tears ran down his cheeks. “But I can’t lose you. Even if it means losing myself.” As Zim spoke, the Pak flared brightly, electricity sparking along the wires. Just as the light left Dib’s eyes, he shimmered, and began to disintegrate. Cracks ran down his skin, as he flaked into nothing. The wires seemed to absorb this dust, and before Zim knew it, Dib was gone, only a few bones remaining. 

“By Irk, I hope this worked,” Zim whispered hoarsely, as he held the Pak in his hands. There were so many ways this could have gone terribly, awfully, horribly wrong. If Zim had soldered a single wire incorrectly, made a single mistroke on the keyboard, then it could all fall apart, it could all go wrong. 

Well, either way, Zim wouldn’t be living without his Dib.

Shakily sighing, he put his Pak back on. As soon as he did, he screamed. It hurt it hurt it hurt. It felt like acid flowing through his veins, like he’d fallen into an ocean. His eyes clenched shut, Zim’s screams echoed through the woods, sending birds aflight and animals running. 

Zim could smell the air around him burning, hear the electricity arcing through the wind. The lightning in his veins.

And then everything went black.

The deed was done.


	2. Aftershocks Last Far Longer than we'd Like

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so starts the Keef POV!
> 
> *slaps roof of Keef* this bad boy can fit so much trauma and spoopy

As the bell rang, signaling, the end of the school day, Keef sighed. One of the perks of sitting in the back of the class was that, even if just for a few minutes at a time, he could let his normal smile slip. It was exhausting pretending to be so happy all the time, and as he ran his hands through his hair, he wondered why he bothered. It would be so much easier to just droop the act, let the mask slip, and quit caring. It was what everyone expected of him, if they remembered he existed at all.

The only ones who'd ever really let him even hang around them were Dib, usually, and Zim that one time. Although, hanging out with Zim hadn't turned out so well, had it? All Keef had to do was let his smile slip and his eyes would change too. They were still nothing like Zim's, thank god, but sometimes they would... glow. It was weird. And when he got mad, it was almost like they had circuits running through the iris. Which... there probably were, honestly. Robo-eyes and all that, courtesy of your friendly neighborhood alien murderhobo.

Speaking of alien murderhobo, Keef was worried about Zim. Sure, he could be... frankly terrifying, but at least he was civil with Keef. He almost found it funny, sometimes, that the arguably evil alien treated Keef more like a person than a majority of his classmates. If he was honest with himself, Zim treated him better than all of his classmates did, with the exception of Dib. And Keef was pretty sure that most of the time, Dib only let him hang around so he'd have someone to ramble to. 

Which was why when both Dib and Zim went missing at exactly the same time, Keef knew something bad had happened. The last time they'd gone missing like this, the world had almost ended. Oh sure, everybody else seemed to agree that it was all some mass hallucination, but Keef knew better. Dib wasn't lying, or delusional, when he ranted until he was crying about how everyone just ignored the evidence right in front of them, happy to throw it away so easily.

But now wasn't the time for thinking like that. It looked like some of his peers had thought of something they needed from the storage cabinet Keef sat in front of, so he had to slip on his trademark smile, just slightly too wide and his teeth bared slightly too sharply. It was the best thing he could do to hide the circuits in his eyes, making sure people never looked closely enough to see them. Just another thing he disliked about his life, just another reason he snuck off into the woods at any opportunity.

As the gaggle of girls approached, Keef waved energetically at them, making sure to almost-but-not-quite make eye contact. It was exhausting, honestly, but hey. He'd been doing it since long before he got his... new eyes, now it was just higher stakes. People already picked on him for his freckles, and his hair, and the way he would jump at the sound of breaking glass or shouting. He wouldn't let them have even more ammunition against him. It was just a bad idea, and he was tired enough.

"I'm so glad those two freaks went missing, it's been so much quieter since they fucked off and died," Keef heard one of the girls- a blonde, well, bleach blond. Her hair was dark at the roots, she obviously died her hair herself. Which would make her... Patricia.  
  
"Honestly, I can't tell what's more annoying, the way Dib would interrupt class to talk about his 'theories', or the way Zim would remind the teachers to give us our homework," Patricia continued, rolling her eyes. The more she talked, the harder it was for Keef to keep faking his smile. "What do you think?" she asked, turning to one of her friends. Dark brown hair, purple highlight... Sara. She was the one who'd always call Keef a "soulless redhead."

"I know. I just wish they'd take down the missing posters already. I mean sure, that asshole scientist is offering some big reward, but... it can't be that much to be worth actually looking for those losers," Sara replied, shrugging, as she dug through the supply cabinet. "I ho-"

"Shut up," Keef interrupted, his smile slipping, lowering slightly at the edges. It was a force of will at this point to keep it up at all.

"What did you say to us, you little freak?" a third girl sneered, her dishwater brown hair swinging around her shoulder as she turned to look at Keef.

"You heard me, I asked you to shut up," Keef replied, forcing false friendliness into his tone. Trying not to think about how much he wanted to throttle that girl, how badly he wanted to show her why she should shut up. What did she know? She'd never actually talked to either of them! None of them had! They didn't know- or care- about Zim's near-crippling anxieties that he hid even from himself by a curtain of loudness. They didn't see the way Dib's shoulders sagged a bit whenever someone shot down one of his theories. So what gave them the right to talk like that?

"Now listen here you little carrot-top demon, if you think I'm going to stop talking just because you say so, you're wrong. Dead wrong," the bleached-blond said. She was obviously the leader. Well. Keef knew how to take care of leaders.

"Really, Patricia? Insulting my hair color? I know you're insecure about yours, but that doesn't mean I am," Keef chuckled cheerily, smiling just as broadly as ever. "And Sara! I know your favorite line of nail polish, Sweetberry Pink, got discontinued, but please don't insult my friends, m'kay?" as he spoke, Sara paled, stepping back, stumbling against the counter. "And Grace! Your name is Grace, right? YOu live on 413 Newberry street with your mom and three cats, right? Oh! I forgot about your birthday last week, didn't I? I'm so terribly sorry." Grace looked so confused, as if she didn't talk so loudly in class every single day. Honestly, if people wanted to keep their lives secret, maybe they should be a bit quieter with them.

As he smiled, he stood up. Before he put in his last word, his grin fell and his eyes flashed an acid green. "Now. Shut. Up." He grabbed his things, and left the room. None of the girls tried to stop him,  
  
In the hallway, Keef paused to look at one of the aforementioned Missing posters. It had been a couple of months, and still, the only sign of the boys was a... dried puddle of blood found in an alleyway, and a similar one in the center of a circle of scorched earth in the woods. Nobody knew what to make of it, their best guess was that one of them had gotten hurt, and the other was trying to get them to Zim's house to fix it. Probably Zim, if they were heading to his house. No-one, not even the esteemed Professor Membrane, knew what to make of the scorched earth. the professor's current theory was some sort of electrified plasma blast, but how that would have happened was a mystery.

Nothing had been since the first week they went missing. Even though search parties went deeper enter the woods each time they went out, well. It had been a while, and it was getting harder and harder to find people willing to traipse around the woods at all hours of the night, and even harder to find people willing to enter the deep woods at all. The last Keef had heard, the only person still going out on the "search parties" was Membrane himself. The man just refused to give up hope, it seemed. 

after staring at the poster for a while, and thinking about the interaction he'd just had, Keef decided it was time he takes another camping trip. He'd have to grab a few things from his house, but that was fine. He was probably overdue for a getaway anyway, things had been getting tense at home. Friction was building, and Keef didn't want to be there when everything boiled over.

As he walked home, Keef thought about what, exactly, he planned to do. Just wandering into the forest probably wouldn't work, so this would probably be a multi-day endeavor. Meaning, of course, he'd need more than just a sleeping bag and pair of spare socks. Now Keef just had to decide how long he was willing to spend in the woods. He could probably get away with being gone for about two weeks, three if he pushed it, at any other time. Lucky for him, though, Mrs. Bitters was out on paid leave - something about terrorizing parents. And he sub couldn't find her class roster, so Keef could probably just fuck off into the woods for as long as he wanted. It wasn't like anyone would miss him.

Eventually, he decided that he'd just stay out there until he found Dib and Zim, or proof that they... weren't coming back. Hopefully, he'd find them holed up in a cave somewhere, just lost in the deep woods. Hopefully. Keef tried not to think about the pile of ashes they'd found near the scorch marks in the woods. After all, he just had to keep smiling.


	3. Sneaking past the Dragon's Maw, just to be caught by the Edge of its Claw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BIG TW FOR CHILD ABUSE AND GENERAL BAD PARENTING KEEF'S PARENTS ARE ***AWFUL*** IN THIS FIC

Silently slipping through the back door, Keef crosses his fingers and hopes his parents are passed out somewhere. That would be the best thing right now; he wouldn't have to deal with them. If they were up, they'd give him a whole list of random things that needed doing. Things they should have done, things no 13-year-old should have to do. Changing the oil in the car, for example. It's not like they drove anywhere, they always had their "friends" either pick them up curbside, or they invited them over.

Keef always made sure to be in the woods on weeks the "friends' ' visited. Sometimes Mr.s Bitters even let him sleep in the supply closet. She wasn't that bad once you got to know her, just a bit scary if you interrupted class, and a bit... pessimistic and nihilistic.

Better than high and drunk, which is how his parents spent most of their time. 

Stepping over the squeaky boards and only walking on the quiet ones, Keef made his way to the stairs. On the way he pokes his head into the living room and sees both his parents passed out on the couch. The smoke hanging in the air reeks, and it makes him feel dizzy, so Keef doesn't linger long. When he gets to the stairs, Keef skips the third step - it's about to break anyway, he doesn't trust it with his weight - and the eight one - it squeaks so loud it could wake the dead. 

Safely in his room, Keef dumps his backpack onto his bed. He won't be needing any of what's currently in it, and he will need the storage space. Walking over to his bookcase, he carefully pushed it to the side, revealing a small hole he'd carved out of the wall, into the gaps between, where insulation should be. It's lined with trash bags to keep it clean, and is decently sized. Inside are packs of top ramen, cans of food, and a couple bottles of water. He shoves these into his bag,

Once his storage space has been emptied, Keef sighs. It'll take months to get it that full again. He can only get this stuff by grabbing money from his parent's stash, and he can never take too much from there. They keep an eye on it, and count it whenever they're sober. Shrugging, he moves the bookcase back into place, and heads over to his bed. Reaching under, he feels for the hollow spot in the mattress. Inside is a wad of one dollar bills, probably about $50 total. Just enough for a lifestraw and some trail tape.

Sneaking back downstairs, Keef opens the fridge. Mostly empty. He moved on to the pantry, which was actually well stocked.

With snacks. Honestly, they probably snacked more than Zim did. Shrugging again, Keef tears open a box of zebra cakes and roses them into his bag, along with some canned fruit cocktail. A bag of potatoes sits on the bottom shelf, untouched. Probably the only thing in the house that could constitute as a vegetable. After a second of thinking, he tosses a couple potatoes in his bag, on top of everything else. He should have enough food now, and he could supplement with what he could find in the woods. Mushrooms, berries, rabbits. Basic stuff.

Back upstairs again, Keef opened the medicine cabinet. This, thankfully, usually stayed stocked. He grabbed some bandaids, a small bottle of peroxide, and some triple antibiotic. Never knew what could happen in the woods, it was better to have it and not need it than to almost die of infection.

Just as he's about to sling the bag around his shoulders and climb out his window, he hears someone at the door to his bedroom. Shit.

"Keefy-poo! Hi, darrling!" his mom slurred, blearily. She was obviously drunk, and supporting herself against the doorframe. "How'sh school going?"

"It's going great, mom!" Keef replied, faking cheer. If she thought he was happy, she (probably) wouldn't get mad, and would (hopefully) just leave.

"Wwhell I think we've got some leftover... uh... MacMeaties in the fridge downstairssh, if you get hungry. Love ya!" She mumbled, before stumbling her way downstairs. She was in the buzzed stage of drunkenness, which meant Keef had approximately an hour (or the time it takes her to down three glasses of tequila) before she goes full banshee. By that time, he'd be long gone, his open window the only sign he came home that day. Well, that and the notebooks and papers strewn across his bed.

As he climbs down the drainpipe, Keef chuckles drily to himself. Buzzed Mom is preferable to Really Drunk Mom, which are both better than Sober Mom. Just like Stoned Dad is better than Sober Dad. At least when they're on their preferred substance, they're too unstable to do anything more than scream.

Walking down the sidewalk, Keef passes Zim's house. It looks so cold, empty. His little robot dog is sitting on the windowsill, scarily still. It's... unnatural, to see gir staying still for any amount of time. Sighing, Keef keeps walking. If things went well, that house would be filled with life again, soon.

After a while, Keef arrived at a small camping-supply store.It's the same one he always goes to, they've got really good deals on trail tape. And so many colors! His favorite is the pink one, it's got little bunnies on it, but the orange is a close second, just because of how easily visible it is. Wandering through the aisles, Keef grabs a roll of both. They were on sale, buy one get one free! He deliberated over whether he should get the premium lifestraw, or the smaller one and a tarp, but eventually went with the latter option. Right now he didn't have anything to keep himself dry if it rained, and a wooden lean-to could only do so much.

Waiting in the checkout line, Keef looked at yet another missing poster. Zim and Dib's faces, lined up right next to each other. Their picture-day pictures, both of them dressed in their best clothes. For Dib, this was his usual trench coat, just with a fancy shirt underneath. Zim came to school in full Irken Elite regalia and still, somehow, nobody batted an eye. It had absolutely enraged Dib, the boy had been red-faced by the end of the day, telling anyone who'd listen over and over about all of his theories about Zim. Of course, Keef was the only one who actually listened, but still.

Snapping out of his memories as he stepped up to the register, Keef placed his items to be scanned. 

"Aren't you a little young to be buying this kinda stuff alone?" the cashier asked, scanning the barcodes.

"I have a chronic case of baby-face, ma'am. I'll probably be 30 and still getting carded. I just got my license last week, and my friends want me to drive us all out to go camping," Keef said, lying as easily as he breathed. He had a lot of practice. And, just like that, the cashier dropped the matter. Zim wasn't the only one that benefited from this city's bad case of Dumb Fuck Syndrome.

Shopping bag in hand and backpack on his back, Keef walked out the automatic doors, and set off towards the woods. It was time to go look for Zim and Dib.


	4. The Deep Wood's Siren Song, Sung Once More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This fic is probably going to update sporadically, Im trying to A) finish the outline and B) Get a backlog of chapters written, plus my other fics. So, it wont update *that* often. It will update, though!

Walking up to the edge of the forest, Keef smiled genuinely. As he walked into the grouped trees, he felt himself relaxing. He always felt better under the canopy of branches, snarled overhead. Even here, in what could reasonably be compared to the shallow end of a pool, he felt better. Sure, it wasn't nearly as good as the deep woods, but it was better than in the city proper. Here, he didn't have to wear a mask of fake happiness. Didn't have to worry about bullies, or people figuring out his eyes weren't normal. Here, surrounded by trees, he could just be. It was nice.

Keef picked his way through the underbrush, twigs cracking and leaves crunching as he went. He didn't think about much, just taking in his surroundings. About ten minutes into the woods, he stopped and took out his trail tape. Yes, he wasn't very deep in yet, but you couldn't be too safe. Just because the trees felt safe didn't mean they were, not entirely at least. As he wrapped the fluorescent tape around a low-hanging branch, Keef looked around. Getting a grip on where, precisely, he was. After a moment, he adjusted his course slightly and started walking again. The quickest route to the deep woods would be a path, more of a game trail really, just this way a bit.

Stepping onto the game trail a moment later, Keef started walking faster. Leaves still crunched underfoot, but now he could be more sure of where he was stepping and would be less likely to trip. If he stayed on this game trail for about another half hour, he'd come to the border of the Deep Wood. Once in there, he'd at once be safer and in more danger. Safer from things outside the Deep Wood, in danger of its denizens. Freezing, Keef facepalmed. He'd forgotten his salt. Shit.

Well, he'd just have to find an ash tree or something.  
  
Continuing on his way, Keef hummed to himself. He couldn't quite place the tune, but he'd known it for ages. Sometimes, when he was feeling particularly optimistic, he enjoyed imagining that it was a lullaby that his mother might have sung to him, back when he was small. Then, of course, he'd remember how she usually acted, and realize that that sort of thinking was incredibly unlikely. In reality, it was probably the theme song for some show he'd watched ages ago and had just forgotten. Still, it was a nice tune.

A while later, Keef came to the edge of the Deep Wood. It was a tangible difference where the forest met the Wood. A line drawn higgledy-piggledy in the air, curving and winding across the landscape, following some old line that was of importance centuries ago, some major road, never cobbled, lost to time. On one side was the normal world its yellowed grass, brown fallen leaves, with all its tragedy and humanity, good and bad, black and white. The other side was cleaner, the very air fresher, grass green even under the flaming oranges and reds of the fallen leaves. Everything just so, as if intentionally arranged, untouched by disaster or tragedy, lacking entirely any humanity, none of its denizens caring for human ideas of good or bad, nor of black and white, up and down or left and right. Where another world entirely bleeds into our own, where the Faewild dribbles and drabbles across some unseen border, forming a very visible one just barely on our side. Breathing in deeply, Keef stepped over that line.

Almost immediately, a wind kicked up around him, running through his hair and enveloping him, a warm breeze even though winter was approaching, a warmer hug than any he'd received from his parents. As he walked further into the Wood, he felt himself growing lighter. It felt as if the weight of everything he had to deal with was being lifted, the very air itself imbued with a wild freedom. The few times he'd met someone else who'd ventured into the deep wood- and gotten out- they always said it felt unsettling like they didn't belong. but to Keef? To Keef the wind rushing through his ginger hair, the fiery leaves underfoot, the verdant greenery surrounding him, filling the underbrush, even as the trees overhead were bare of leaves? To Keef, it felt more like home than any old two-story ranch house. More like home than anything he knew of anywhere else.

  
Shaking his head and resituating the pack on his back, Keef looked around. He was here for a purpose, as much as he'd like to drop his backpack in the first clearing he found and take off running through the wood, he couldn't. He had to set up camp, get a fire going, build a lean-to or cot or something of the like. And he had to look for Dib and Zim. Had to hope that he could find them.No, not hope. He would find them. They were somewhere in the wood, he could feel it. Looking upwards, Keef realized that it was getting late. He needed to set up camp soon. As he walked, Keef kept an eye out for a good clearing. Not too leaf-and-bracken filled, for that sort of clearing would be difficult to do anything with. Not anything too cleanly cleared, empty of most fallen leaves, the grass long but in a purposeful way, for that sort of clearing was almost always inhabited by something else, something old and powerful, far more than Keef. Far more than any human, for that matter. Likely older even than the oldest Irken.

And so Keef walked past several inviting-looking clearings, each with emerald grasses and clovers, ringed with ash and oak and thorn, hickory and pine and aspen, each seeming so inviting and the simply perfect place to rest for a while. For while they would be the perfect place to rest, something else already rested there. Something that may very well simply continue resting, even if Keef set up a camp. But very easily something that would take offense, something that could make sure Keef never left that clearing. Not alive, at least.  
  
Eventually, however, Keef came to a clearing that was just right. Not too cluttered, not to clean. Not inhabited, but not neglected, either. Ringed by trees of all sorts, a few flowers sprouting from the moss and clover carpeting the ground, covered slightly by a scattering of leaves. Grinning, Keef set down his backpack at the edge and set to work. First, he would need something to sleep on. Walking around the edge of the camp, he found a few fallen branches, long, thick, and relatively straight. A couple with forks at the end he set aside for something else later, but he used most of them to assemble a makeshift cot frame. It was little more than a rectangle of tied and taped together branches, with more secured to the top to create a surface for sleeping on, and leaves filling the underside for further insulation, but it would work for what he needed. This done, he grabbed a couple of the forked branches from earlier, two of about the same length. These he set upright, dug into the ground a bit, on at either end of the cot. Humming to himself, Keef used to smaller branches on the other side, before laying the tarp over the whole thing and tying it off, to create a lean-too. Both ends, where it narrowed, were covered, and one long end as well. The uncovered long end could be covered easily, by pulling an extra length of the tarp over it.  
  
And so Keef worked for the rest of the evening, arranging rocks to form a firepit, the last two forked branches to create a cooking spit over it. A hollow log became a storage compartment, and more fallen leaves went on the surface of the cot to form a makeshift mattress, his sleeping bag going on top of those. By the time Keef was done, he had worked up a sweat and the sun was nearly set. He didn't even have the energy to go to his old hidey-hole and see if what he'd stored there was still intact, he just grabbed a can of food from his backpack and flopped onto his makeshift bed, laying out and relaxing as he ate. Tomorrow, he'd get up bright and early to search for Dib and Zim. Now, however, it was time to rest. Time to relax, and enjoy the woods around him. It had been too long since the last time he'd visited, too long since he'd last relaxed in a makeshift lean-to with a can of spaghettios in his hand and the stars stretching overhead.  
  
Once he finished eating, he grimaced. The canned food was always the worst part of these trips, it always tasted artificial. Even powdered eggs were better, they at least reconstituted into something recognizable as food. Stretching, he sat up and stretched. By the dusky twilight, he used some rope to make a few snares. He'd set them out while searching the next day, and by the end of the day after he should have fresh rabbit for dinner. Keef set the five finished snares in his hollow log-storage unit, and walked the few steps to the firepit. Once a fire was crackling in the pit, Keef smothered it just enough that come morning, it would have a few embers, just enough to relight into a merry flame. This done, he headed off to bed. It had been a long day.


	5. Meeting Again, for the First Time.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did I just post last night?  
> Yes.  
> Am I posting again?  
> Also yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I realized that I accidentally droppped the end of last chapter thanks to a very helpful commenter, so That is Fixed Now. fjhsadkfljhasd

Keef was sleeping soundly when he heard... something, in the night, near his camp. Something walking by. It didn't sound quadrupedal, but no human had a gait like that- no biped, for that matter. Stiffening, he made sure to hold very still. He'd been in these woods enough to know there were things near the lakes, especially dangerous things. If it was one of those... things, then Keef wouldn't see the dawn, probably wouldn't see the next ten minutes. He just had to hope it wasn't. It never had been before, and he didn't see why it would be, those things only ever came out if you were swimming at night, but still.

When the thing seemed to stop near where his stuff was, Keef breathed out a sigh of relief, shifting his weight on the makeshift cot to relax again. Then he realized. The thing was right by his hollow log. Where all his food was. And all his supplies. And those snares he’d just made.

Shit.

Slowly sitting up, he blinked his eyes rapidly to activate night vision mode. one of the upsides of being kidnapped by an alien and having robotic eyes forcibly implanted in your skull. After it flickered on, Keef could hardly believe what he was seeing. It... It had Dib's coat, and hair that looked almost like Dib's, it was even mumbling to itself so much like how Dib did. But... It's mumblings werent in English, or any other language Keef recognized, and it seemed to be holding a conversation with itself, its one voice echoing with two, overlaid and overlapping but in perfect sync. At the same time, Keef thought that the sound might have been a trick of his mind; his brain trying to comprehend what should have been two people, but instead was just one. Because the thing, it had Zim's antennae, it wore Zim's tunic under the coat, it even had Zim's Pak. And there was no mistaking that green skin.

Slowly, Keef unzipped his sleeping bag and stood up, sliding his legs off the edge of the makeshift cot frame he'd constructed. Even if that thing was somehow both Dib and Zim, his two favorite people, at this rate it would eat through all his rations. Sure, he'd probably have plenty from his snares and foraging in a couple days, but it was nice to have something to fall back on. Gave him a sense of security, and security was usually the reason he escaped into the woods in the first place. Not this time, of course, but usually. 

"Dib? Zim? i- What do I even call you?" keef said, his voice carrying easily through the still night air, even though he spoke softly. The creature tilted its head, before taking a slow step forward. It leaned over,prowling towards him, confident on its two feet. It crept all the way to his cot, moving slowly, every inch a predator, and Keef could feel a shiver of fear run down his spine. It came all the way to Keef, placing one clawed hand against his chest and pushing him down, back into a sleeping position, before placing a single claw against its lips, a facsimile of the universal motion for "Hush."

Once it had Keef laying back down, it smiled at him, retreated back to his bag, grabbed a couple more energy bars, and stuffed them into its pockets. It briefly fiddled with a can of fruit cocktail, but when it couldn't open the can, cast it aside before loping off, back deeper into the woods, disappearing into the darkness, leaving no trace that it was ever there but for the food strewn across the campsite, and the slightest rip in Keef's shirt.

"What happened to you?" Keef whispered aloud, his eyebrows furrowed. He lay there for a while, thinking about what he'd seen. After a moment, he got back up and grabbed the can, and his multitool. He opened the can and left it sitting on a large, flat stone by the firepit. This done, he went back to his sleeping bag/makeshift cot. Eventually, he even managed to drift back off to sleep. Even as he slept, though, his thoughts stayed on the creature. Something bad had happened, he knew it. Something that had led to... that. Keef just wondered what it was.

Waking up with a stretch and a yawn the next morning, Keef rubbed his eyes. A quick look upwards told him it was late in the morning. He also saw some ominous clouds on the horizon, but they looked a couple days away. After yawning again, Keef stood up and walked over to the firepit. He grabbed a thick stick he had put to the side and prodded the smouldering ashes, smiling when he managed to get a small flame again. It would be a lot easier if he didn't have to keep relighting it. After tossing a few sticks onto the flame, he checked the can. It was empty of fruit cocktail, but had a small, smooth river rock sitting at the bottom. When Keef held the stone to the light, he saw there was a hole worn through it, and thin veins of quartz and pyrite twisted across it, like little lightning bolts.

"Well, it looks like you did come back, once I was asleep," Keef muttered to himself, pocketing the stone. Not only was it pretty,rocks like it were good for spotting fae, and their tricks. It could come in handy. Noticing that the small sticks he'd placed on the fire were burning merrily, Keef added some slightly damp leaves to smoulder while he was out that day, and began cleaning up the campsite.

Once he had all his things neatly stacked again, Keef looked over his stock of food, and wished he had a bear box. Not that there were any bears in the area, but coyotes and racoons and other, less normal critters were always something to be vigilant of when camping. He considered the problem for a while, but eventually shrugged. There wasn't anything he could do about it now, so he shouldn't waste any time thinking about it. 

Grabbing a couple of the snares he'd made the evening before, Keef set out to set them up. Pretty soon, he'd be having fresh meat. WHile walking, he considers the problem of what to call the creature from the night before. Neither Dib or Zim would work, and "creature" just seemed mean. Maybe Zib? No, that seemed... off, somehow. Striding along, leaves crunching underfoot, Keef thought about this problem. already, he was calmer than he usually was, hiding in the deep woods always helped him clear his head and think things through. Instead of a series of sharp falls and white-water rapids, his thoughts became more like a babbling brook; still quick, and he could still get swept away, but easier to navigate, and he was less likely to hurt himself.

It was this sort of thinking that eventually led him to an answer, just as he was tying up the last of the snares. Dim. It took some from both Dib's name, and Zim's, and it had a nice ring to it. Not too sharp or harsh, it rolled off the tongue. Standing up after tying the last knot, Keef grinned. That was one problem solved, at least.

Looking up, Keef realized he still had quite a bit of daylight left, and didn't need to hurry back to camp. So, he set off on a small hike, whistling as he went. Leaves crumbled under his stepping, and branches creaked overhead. He slipped around faerie rings and hopped over streams, pretending he was a Ranger's Apprentice from one of his favorite books, evading capture from the fierce Skandians, carrying a message back to the castle. Maybe he was on the run from the Temu'jai, leading a herd of their stout ponies back to Old Bob.

Maybe he was on his way to see Halt, the most famous ranger in all of Araluen; maybe he was on his way to take up the bronze oak leaf. There were so many things he could have been, and for a moment he was so much more than just Keef, just Keef stuck in reality, not one of his books.

Eventually, he came to an edge of the woods, where they broke away to reveal a huge lake, its deep green waters stretching to the edge of sight, a thick fog hanging over it's middle. The smallest of waves lapped at the edge, against the mixture of clay, silt, and small stones that edged every body of water in this part of the country. Reaching down, Keef picked up a few small stones and began skipping them across the water as he walked.

As he skipped his fifth stone, a cardinal fluttered down from a nearby tree and landed on the lakeside, pecking at the ground. Keef stepped around it, chuckling at the way it leapt after a worm. There was always something going on around you, if you knew where to look. A few minutes later, he saw a perfect example of this; there was a wild pheasant's nest, hidden beneath some brush at the edge of the wood, where the trees thinned a bit before fading out, giving way to the silt and pebbles. There would be some tasty fresh eggs there come spring, but Keef would only take one or two. He didn't want to hurt the population, and besides, he always felt bad pilfering eggs. The mother birds always looked at him so sadly, once they stopped attacking him. It absolutely broke his heart. Which was odd, seeing as he'd merrily eat the mother bird, if she didn't have that nest.

Veering off back into the woods again, Keef followed a barely-there game trail, wandering down its winding natural path. his own footprints in the dirt alongside those of deer, rabbits, and even a few racoons. Apparently, this particular trail was well-used. Smiling, Keef kept a sharp eye on his surroundings. He was looking for something specific. He soon found it. A large,round rock, leaning against a stony outcropping. Walking up to it, Keef rolled it to the side with a bit of effort, revealing a shallow indent in the stone, kept mostly dry by the covering rock. Inside sat a bright yellow plastic bag, tied shut and obviously full to bursting. Pulling it out, Keef rolled the rock back into place. He didn't want a family of foxes taking up residence in his hidey-hole, after all!

Turning around, Keef started walking back to his camp, cutting through the undergrowth this time. Still not in any particular rush, just wondering what he'd see. He knew the general direction camp was in, anyway. He had developed a good sense of direction, and an innate familiarity with these woods, over the years. While most people were scared of them, and how in the summer and spring you couldn't see the sun for the leaves, Keef thought it was beautiful. The way in certain stands of trees, even in the dead of winter the ground could be completely free of snow, the dense canopy of coniferous evergreens overhead acting as a natural roof. He lvoed the way these trees could so quickly give way to broad-leaved deciduous trees, and the way in the fall there was such a vibrant spectrum of color to be seen, both on the ground and in the branches. The diversity in the animals that came with this.

The way, in the brightest blooms of spring or the deepest part of summer, the branches overhead were filled with life as animals ran lively through the canopy; the way in the fall and winter, it stilled, still just as much movement but the way it was quieter, more conserved; it always brought a smile to Keef's face.

Keef adored the way sound muffled in the forest, the way he could sing and hum and whistle all day and all night, and no one would yell at him to stop; the way he could just sit against a tree with his eyes closed and listen to what ran overhead, and nothing else could disturb him. Even when snow was thick on the ground and the oaks and maples had long lost their leaves, there was always somewhere in the wood where there were trees still green enough to allow this. Though, Keef did try to avoid the places where deciduous trees stayed green- he knew from experience what sort lived there. So deep was he in thought, Keef almost didn't notice the small group of deer in front of him- if the buck hadn't stepped on a twig, he might have walked right past them, right through the middle of the group, and hardly noticed them besides to think how pretty they were. However, Keef made sure to give them their space. Not only for their comfort, though; he didn't particularly fancy getting gored to death.

Leaving the family of white-tails behind, Keef finished walking back to camp. He stopped at the edge, hand on a small sapling, breath caught in his throat. On the cot he had made, under the leaning tarp, was Dim, curled into a ball atop the sleeping bag. He seemed to be asleep, his breathing slow and even.However, his antennae were perked up, and as soon as Keef exhaled they shook. Dim's head jerked up, and when he saw Keef... It looked odd, but Keef would have sworn that Dim had raised hackles, like a big cat.

for a while, he and Keef locked eyes, and everything was still. Eventually, Dim seemed to calm, and he blinked slowly, before smoothly standing off the cot and prowling past Keef into the undergrowth. He still seemed... off. Unsteady, but at the same time sure of himself.

As he came alongside Keef, Dim knocked his shoulder against Keef's, and seemed to chirp, low and deep, almost a chuff. It almost seemed like he was thanking Keef for the food.

Keef stood there long after Dim was gone, silent. This was odd, and almost unsettling, but more than anything it made Keef sad. Dim reminded him of a half-feral house cat that wants to be scratched behind the ears, but is scared of being touched. And he obviously wasn't thinking clearly, not even forming coherent words. Keef was... worried about him. Eventually, he sighed, and walked into the camp proper. The leaves from earlier were barely more than a n ashy mess at the bottom of the firepit, but the embers still glowed brightly. Keef stoked the fire and added some proper wood, tigs under sticks under branches, before sitting down to open his bag.

As he untied the top, Keef was careful not to tear it. He'd need to retie it later, when he put it back in his hidey-hole. But for now, he wanted what was inside. Once the bag was open, Keef reached inside, and began pulling out its contents. First was a large box of powdered eggs, the contents held in a plastic ziploc bag within the box. It was about half-full, which would be more than enough for keef, even if he stayed clear to spring. He next pulled out a box of powdered milk, similarly repackaged. Both just needed water, and he'd have a passable meal. He also withdrew two smaller sandwich baggies, both filled with a thick wheat flour. There was a third, similar bag, but it was empty. 

Next he pulled out a small hatchet. No good for anything more than knocking down small saplings and large branches for firewood, the steel blade could still serve a second use as a firestarter. He only had so many matches, after all. The last thing he pulled out was a small, three-serving dutch oven, covered with a lid and full of something. Inside were his collection of Ranger's Apprentice paperbacks, each inside its own ziploc bag, the first book even a signed copy. It was Keef's most treasured possession, which was why he kept it in the woods, where it was safe from the snatching hands of his parents.

Once he finished setting things where they were supposed to be, Keef relaxed for the rest of the evening. Or at least, he tried to. His thoughts kept going back to Dim, and he kept wondering what had happened. This train of thought continued late into the evening, until eventually, Keef decided to just head to bed. Before going to sleep, though, he did set out another can of fruit cocktail.


	6. hiatus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *screams*

HIATUS ANNOUNCEMENT

FOR AT LEAST A COUPLE MONTHS WHILE I WORK ON THIS PROJECT, NOT THE WHOLE TIME BUT AT LEAST FOR A WHILE, ALL MY FICS WILL BE ON HIATUS.

(SHUT UP MOMYUKI FIC YOURE DEAD, NOT JUST ON HIATUS)

OK SO

THE PROJECT IS

LAST NIGHT I WAS IN THE MOOD FOR ZADR SOULMATE AUS AND I COULDNT FIND ANY, THERE WERE LITERALLY 10 THAT SHOWED UP WHEN I FILTERED BY “Dib/Zim” AND “Soulmates”. SO, I AM GOING TO WRITE 20 SOULMATE AU FICS BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR, THATS MORE THAN A FIC A MONTH, SO I CAN ***TRIPLE*** THE AMOUNT OF SOULAMTE ZADR FICS ON AO3. I WILL HATE MYSELF BY THE END OF THIS. THAT IS FACT. IT WILL PRACTIALLY BE A YEAR-LONG NANOWRIMO. *SCREAMS*

This message will copy paste to all continuing fics of mine.


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